[PALACE GAME - LAN WANGJI RUN]

[laughitoff]

Everything is red. You are dying, somewhere far beyond pain, the very essence of yourself going to pieces. You’re shattering so badly you don’t know if you’ll ever find all of yourself again, if you’ll ever put yourself back together. There are teeth on you, ripping, tearing, devouring. There are teeth inside you, carving their way out, and those are worse.

This is a memory, happening at a remove. It is not yours. This is not happening now.

Everything is grey. You wake up in a prison cell, eyes wide, the ceiling flat and blank and unfamiliar above you. For a moment you simply think, no. You think, Please, wasn’t it over? Wasn’t it enough? You consider closing your eyes again and refusing to get up, until oblivion reclaims you. Even if you’re no longer dying, everything hurts.

This is a memory, happening at a remove. It is not yours. This is not happening now.

What is happening, then?

You–

–sit up.

Comments

[laughitoff]

[The bridge is steady, and holds his weight.

Shining a light yields a better view of his surroundings – the lake seems quiet and endless, and the bridge is a long one, but it’s also full of life. The murky shadows of fish teem under the water, attracted to the brightness. Huge stands of lotus break the water here and there – the flowers are closed and quiescent, but as Bichen's light hits the edge of one, the petals tentatively start to bloom open.]

[strikingchords]

[he can't use Orthodoxy or Heresy any more, but

he can take off his sash

tie Bichen's hilt to the center of the bridge, leaving it suspended below like a lantern, still brightly lit

and just, leave it there as he walks forward]

[laughitoff]

[That's gay???

The lotuses that fall in its circle of light start to bloom in full; the scent is so sweet it makes him want to cry. A home was lost; this is the hope of gaining it again, one day.

...

Without fanfare, after a long walk, the bridge and lake give way to a tiny island. There’s a bunch of little ghost animals hanging out in the grass here – rabbits, a couple of small birds, several snakes and two dragons, and a lone fox kit, who all startle and shy away at the presence of a visitor.

A single tree grows here, the trunk lightning-split and blackened but the branches still lush with leaves; a single bright lantern hangs from a low branch.

There’s a human figure collapsed on the ground beneath the lantern, a tangle of dark robes and hair. He seems pretty ghostly himself–he’s fading at the edges, wisping away into shadows.]

[strikingchords]

[I'm sorry to be gay in your heart. I know you weren't expecting this kind of behavior

his steady walk turns into a run as soon as that figure comes into view]

[laughitoff]

[The questionnaire Lan Wangji sent at the start of his journey is in the grass beside him, in a neat stack.]

[strikingchords]

[maybe he heard the guqin, at least, as if in a dream.

nearly skids into a kneel next to him, reaching for him with urgent hands and gathering him up to his chest; already pouring the last of his spiritual energy into him. it's much the same scene as the one Wei Wuxian didn't notice, when Wen Ning regained his reason, that lifetime ago]

[laughitoff]

[His skin is shadowy and Lan Wangji can see the faintest sliver of gold pupil beneath the lids of his mostly-closed eyes, but this seems to be aesthetic and not another problem to fix.

That said, he doesn't stir immediately, and Lan Wangji feels his spiritual energy falling in that familiar bottomless pit.]

[strikingchords]

[he feels a stab of absolute panic; he really put everything he could think of into this one, all his meticulous focus, pushing past everything he saw, and he needs-- if it didn't work--

he's holding him so tightly. his eyes are wet.]

[laughitoff]

[...Wei Wuxian's eyelids flutter...]

[strikingchords]

[doesn't realize instantly: he's gathered him up closely enough that Wei Wuxian's face is hidden.]

[laughitoff]

[hhhoarse]

...Lan...Zhan...?

[strikingchords]

[...

goes very still, then pulls back enough to look at him again. his heart is racing with hope, and his eyes are just a little red.]



Wei Ying.

[laughitoff]

...what's going on...?

[strikingchords]

[...draws a shuddering breath of relief in, lets it out, and tugs Wei Wuxian close again...]

You were fading.

[laughitoff]

[shudders too, but also reaches a weak hand up to Lan Wangji's sad face like it's a beautiful hallucination]

Aiyo...don't cry.

[strikingchords]

[he does indeed encounter unexpected damp there. Lan Wangji's arms tighten.]

Hm.

[laughitoff]

...you got here...

It must have been hard.

[strikingchords]

...

Wei Ying.

Why are you saying this, at this time?

[laughitoff]

Huh...?

[strikingchords]

Would travel this path a hundred times.

My only fear, that he might not be here.

[laughitoff]

Nngh...

You can't just say that to a man, you'll break his heart...

[strikingchords]

...

[soft]

Your heart is strong.

Was honored to see it.

[laughitoff]

...

"Lying is forbidden," ah?

[but his eyes are wide.]

[strikingchords]

["Lying is forbidden." rests one hand flat on Wei Wuxian's chest, feeling that heartbeat. still there, still strong. not vanished from Lan Wangji yet.]

Wei Ying.

[laughitoff]

You're still hurt.