[texting post]

[laughitoff]

Wei Wuxian 魏无羡
22 / M / Hell

THE FEARSOME YILING PATRIARCH! DRIVING EVIL FROM YOUR DOOR WITH A GREATER EVIL! LOVES MILD FOOD, CUTE PUPPIES, LONG WALKS IN THE BURIAL MOUNDS AND KILLING ALL YOUR LOVED ONES!

<span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ScI5Hsw.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"><b style="color:#e75480;">YOUR NAME</b> got horribly cursed by Wei Wuxian!</span> CURSE

<lj-raw><span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/P3gZl1b.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"> <b style="color:#e75480;">YOUR NAME</b> declared Wei Wuxian a heretic! <blockquote style="border-left:5px solid #ddd;padding:0 0 0 10px;"> Message_content </blockquote></span></lj-raw> DENOUNCE

<span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/w2B4FYG.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"><b style="color:#e75480;">YOUR NAME</b> challenged Wei Wuxian to a duel!</span> FIGHT

CODE BY

Comments

[laughitoff]

[phones are a blessing, sometimes, because only the distance they create allows Wei Wuxian to admit:]

finding out he just wanted me to heal in gusu was a shock.

[weiyingdown]

yeah.

[it was a shock for him too, even if the way he found out was different]

but when Lan Zhan SAYS "come back to gusu with me" it sounds like a threat!

[laughitoff]

he's bad at explaining.

i guess i knew that.

[weiyingdown]

there's knowing, and then there's REALLY KNOWING how badly we misunderstood one another.

[laughitoff]

"really knowing."

[weiyingdown]

really really knowing! don't assume you know as much as you think you know about Lan Zhan, Wei-shidi. he's like an onion.

[laughitoff]

what, he makes people cry?

[he's just being ornery now]

[weiyingdown]

he's white like an onion and has too many layers and tastes delicious

he does also make people cry doesn't he

[laughitoff]

that's the worst metaphor you've ever come up with and you should be ashamed

[weiyingdown]

it is not, it fits!

[laughitoff]

would you say he is also crunchy and adds a base of flavor to any dish

[weiyingdown]

not crunchy. flavor isn't the right word for it, but he does add a certain amount of intensity to every meal.

[laughitoff]

he likes cooking that much?

[weiyingdown]

I've lost track of where this metaphor is going but he loves cooking

[laughitoff]

does he?

hm

[weiyingdown]

the cooking was a metaphor for something else, in case you needed that spelled out for you

but he DOES also cook almost all of our meals

[laughitoff]

what

will you stop talking in metaphors! now I'M lost!

[weiyingdown]

fine, fine, no more metaphors! 🍆🍑🍆🍑🍆🍑🍆🍑

[laughitoff]

he says, sending me eight sexual metaphors in a row for no reason

[weiyingdown]

who told you what those are???? your poor little virgin ears shouldn't be listening to that kind of talk

[laughitoff]

shut up! there was a library book about them, i stole it from lan zhan before he stopped using words altogether

[weiyingdown]

you haven't texted those to Lan Zhan have you

[don't toy with his heart like that, shidi]

[laughitoff]

haha that's a good idea

[weiyingdown]

it's an excellent idea. Lan Zhan can see how bad you are at flirting. maybe he can teach you a thing or two!

[laughitoff]

lan zhan, flirting? next you're going to tell me the moon rabbit will descend and bless my house tonight