laughitoff | [sidereal - the dreaming]

[at least it's out...]

[wipes his eyes and mouth on a sleeve after and then stays crouched there like a large distressed beast, shoulders shaking]

[this is his fault so he does not quite feel able to reach out, but his shoulder is nearly touching Wei Wuxian's... aaaaaa]

Wei Ying.

Why are we being made to do this?! Is this supposed to help us?!

[he'd thought they might have to go through some awful ordeal for their wishes, based on the ominous contract, but it's pretty messed up that the ordeal is apparently just looking at their lives again.]

...

[maybe it's to show them where things went wrong, Wei Wuxian blurrily rationalizes after a while, huddled on the floor of a room which could exist only in their dreams. maybe it's to show him those fracture points so he can think of them, think of ways to repair them.

but if so...if so, it would be more than this, wouldn't it...? it would involve his family too, and the Wens. not just Lan Zhan and ruined houses and old ghosts. not just their own past memories.]

[Lan Wangji is very, very still next to him, if he is able to notice that.]

[he should do something to reassure him. he should do something and not just stay like this, feeling sick and empty.

...

reaches out and clutches one of Lan Wangji's sleeves]

[startles, an almost unnoticeable twitch, and looks up at him]

[he hasn't lifted his head or anything.

he's just

holding on.]

Edited 2019-12-23 05:22 (UTC)

[...

takes his wrist with that hand]

[flinches just a little, but does not take it away.]

[he's really ready to be in agony about Wei Wuxian having to carry his grief on top of his, actual life that Lan Wangji was grieving about, but he's briefly distracted by Wei Wuxian's physical misery in front of him

checks his forehead for a fever with his other hand,]

[nOISE??

he does not have a fever! his skin feels chilly, in fact]

[frowns at him helplessly]

You are cold.

[IT SOUNDS INADEQUATE AND INANE EVEN TO HIM BUT HE'S ALSO DEADLY SERIOUS]

[

a bit weakly tbh]

You really . . . worry too much, Lan Zhan . . .

[he just shakes his head; he's trembling too, honestly, though the tremor is very slight and his underlying stance is steady. Wei Wuxian can't see it. he can only feel it where Lan Wangji's holding onto his wrist.]

[shifts his hand enough to grip Lan Wangji's wrist back, steadying. he's not really thinking about why.]

[breathes out, and steadies, and tugs Wei Wuxian in slightly to lean against his shoulder, where it's warmer]

[he stays stiff and resisting for a moment, and then relaxes just a little, looking sidelong at him through the heavy tangled fall of his hair]

[looks back, exhausted and serious and steadfast; even without being in his head Wei Wuxian can taste the melange of it in the back of his throat]

. . .

[he wishes he had something better to offer in this moment, than blood and grief and horror]

. . . always chasing me.

...

Do not make me.

[they're both tired.]

[bows his head without answering]

[neither of them has the resources to do much more than slump against each other until the dream starts to fade out...]

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laughitoff - 2019-12-24 05:33 (UTC) - Expand